Trauma: it comes in many different ways with many different faces, and leaves us in various conditions. The worst part of living after a traumatic experience is when the people you love ignore your scars that can't be seen with the physical eye.
If you break a leg in a car accident, no one tells you to hurry up and heal. But when you experience trauma that leaves an indention on your mind, heart, and soul...you are expected to "pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on moving". This is normally the response to those who have been labeled "strong". But it's not always easy being the strong one or having your issues easily looked over because you're expected to have a speedy recovery. Impeccable "bounce back".
That person that's been through the fire and never smells like smoke. Often times you may even wonder when someone is going to ask how you're doing so that you can finally unload...only to be left saddened that it was the most insincere "how are you" right before they robotically say, "that's great..." and proceed to unload their issues on top of your already overloaded hands, arms, and shoulders. Finally frustrations sets in, you give your regular blanket advice, walk a way, begin to distance yourself from the ones you love because you are completely tired. Tired of loving and giving and always feeling like you are invisible. Some times you just want to remember that you are human and not this artificial superwoman that you never asked to be.
For most of us, we aren't even sure how we got coined this "super woman" so we sure as heck don't always know how to remove the title or at least own it! I'm giving you five personal tips that I've used when battling this frustrating time of living with invisible tears!
"Some times you just want to remember that you are human and not this artificial superwoman that you never asked to be."
!. Speak Up! People aren't mind readers and generally react to your demeanor. What I've found is that normally when people think that we are strong, it's because we are! His light shines bright in us and most of the time we seem to have it altogether. We paint a smile on our face everyday to try to push past the mess of emotions so it makes others not want to bring up anything that can sadden us again. Stop someone you trust and just say, "Hey, can I talk to you?" 2. Therapy Ignore the thoughts that tell you what you have been through "isn't so bad" and that "you'll be over it soon". If you are having trouble fully expressing yourself and/or organizing your thoughts, seek professional help! There are even some places who may talk to you for free!
Writing it out and reading it back to myself often times help me to place things in perspective. It allows what I feel to become real to me and makes me face it head on. In this process, I've seen that sometimes I had way more underlying issues than I had presumed...
4. Prayer What you believe may be different from what I believe, but maaaaaan living with Jesus is amazing! In His name, I can cry out to The Father in heaven who hears me and answers my prayers. He opens me up, cleanses me, frees me....whatever it is that I need at that given time. He shows me the truth of myself, the true impact of what I experienced, how to handle what I've experienced, and the way out of In My Emotions Boulevard. In prayer, I realize just how much my life is not my own and how much the enemy comes to steal my faith in God, but in prayer He builds me back up and sets me on my way. I'm blessed just to know that in my anger, God still loves me!